H20 is h20, right? Not so in the beauty realm. With many products incorporating ’super’ water – from hexagonal to eloptic to energized to oxygenated to reverse osmosis – we thought it best to filter through the hype to see which were actually beneficial for the skin.

Water is primarily used as a solvent in cosmetics and personal care products, and helps form emulsions in which it is combined with oil to create creams and lotions. The quality and purity of this water (called process water) is monitored according to the FDA’s Guidance on Cosmetic Manufacturing Practice Guidelines and is meant to contain no intentionally added substances. So what do hexagonal, eloptic, energized, oxygenated and reverse osmosis waters have that make them different from good ol’ fashioned process water?

The difference can simply be in the structure, as is the case for hexagonal water. This type of water clusters h20 molecules in hexagons, which is supposed to be more successfully absorbed into the skin and result in a more detoxifying version of the liquid. Dr. Mu Shik John, the Japanese doctor who discovered the six-sided structure of water in the 60s, theorizes that “replenishing the hexagonal water in our bodies can increase vitality, slow the aging process and prevent disease” and that “aging is a loss of hexagonal water from organs, tissues and cells, and an overall decrease in total body water.”

There has been much debate on the actual benefits of this kind of water; Marta discussed her take on the subject in 2008; two years later the available scientific data is still slim to none. Retired chemistry professor Stephen Lower dedicates his spirited website Chem1.com to the “structured water pseudoscience and quackery”, shooting down all enhanced forms of water (and just about everything else). It’s hard to take the website seriously, though, since it treads on the border of it’s own quackery of the other extreme.

Upon searching for information on eloptic energized water, I came to realize that eloptic is a patented word. Scientist Thomas Hieronymous supposedly discovered this new form of energy, made up a word with the combination of the words electric and optic and then patented it in 1949. He also created the Psionic Hieronymous Machine, which was designed to detect the presence of any element by its individual frequency. The FDA has since branded the machine as a fake.

Eloptic energy is vaguely described as energy that is being radiated from or is in some manner given off, or forms a force field around, everything in our material world under normal conditions and without treatment. Each element that makes up our world gives off this energy. If I’m understanding this correctly, this would mean simply leaving purified water out on a table to “capture” this eloptic energy before incorporating it into the cosmetic. And this helps our skin, how? Ironically, Simply Divine Botanicals, which Marta recently reviewed, also contains this eloptic energized water.

Oxygenated water seems good in theory, but lacks practicality. On the premise that an intense blast of oxygen would prove beneficial to killing bacteria, anyone with acne-prone skin would wonder where to sign up. A 2004 Cosmetic Dermatology Journal article attributes the reduction of acne to the antimicrobial properties of the electrolyzed oxygenated water. That said, the results maintain that there was not a statistically significant reduction in the number of noninflammatory acne lesions or cysts between the treated and untreated side of the face. Medical professionals also wonder how a topical application of a product would remain oxygenated once the bottle is opened.

Reverse-osmosis is a filtration method that is meant to purify water. In that same vein, reverse osmosis water  in cosmetics would simply use this then filtered water, now devoid of any minerals or contaminants. It’s hard to see how more pure would NOT be better for the face, but some professionals suggest that ultrapure water could also be an aggressive chemical.

It’s hard not to balk at the sheer number of products being sold out there. On a simple Google search for the effects of energized water, I came across Stirwand, a quantam-age drinking tool that requires just 20 seconds of stirring in regular water to transform it into an energized upgrade. Viola!

As it seems, all these waters lack the scientific research to fully make claims on their individual effects for improving skin. Lesson: don’t buy oxygenated, eloptic, energized, or hexagonal water on its own to splash on your face. Perhaps buy a product that has other ingredients of substance, too.

When I was asked to take a look at eye cream called Pack Your Bags They’re Leaving ($39.95) from a company called Simply Divine Botanicals, my first thought was this is cool, a natural cosmetic company with a quirky sense of humor. Ok so, so the web site’s tag line -  “merging science with energy and love” – was a bit New Agey, but what the heck. Then I looked at the ingredients for Pack Your Bags. The first item was “unconditional love and gratitude”. Definitely New Age. Then I looked again, something was a bit fishy.

As I dug around, I found myself brushing up against the paranormal, tele-evangelists and visions from God that led to humanity-saving soap. Honestly, you can’t make this stuff up.

But let’s start where I did with the full ingredients list for Pack Your Bags: Unconditional Love and Gratitude, Cucumber, 24 kt Gold, Seaweed, Sea Buckthorn oil, Watermelon seed oil, Essential oils of Frankincense, Myrrh, Tangerine and Lemongrass, Vitamin E. Now it is conceivable that the essential oils provide the base for the other ingredients, but then they struck me as incompletely explained; cucumber what? Extract? And these days, seaweed is usually identified by its type. I decided to take a look around the Simply Divine Botanicals website.

We are told that of the over 400 varieties of seaweed available,  the one used by SDB “is seldom if ever used in skincare as it is so costly, taking 1,000 pounds of only the center vein to make 1 pound of extract.”. We are never told what variety this actually is.

I then took a look at the cleanser and the fun really started.

I was most intrigued by an ingredient that I had never heard of before called eloptic. An online search on eloptic threw up some extremely interesting characters and the discovery that – I wonder how I have gone on so long without knowing this – God is a formulator.

Eloptic energy was apparently coined by a Dr. Thomas Galen Hieronymus. He is described as “familiar with psionics (the study of the paranormal) as Nixon is to politics”. Searching a bit more on “eloptic” I found something called Miracle II soap, which looked a lot like Simply Divine’s cleanser – which is called Outer Body Experience (perhaps in tribute to Dr Hieronymus and his work).

Miracle II soaps were invented by Clayton Tedeton, who hails from Calhoun, Louisiana. Whilst ill in bed, he was cured by a tele-evangelist and shortly thereafter spoke with God who gave him the formula for Miracle II soap. Apparently it cleans babies and oil spills.

Back to Pack Your Bags, the eye cream that sent me down this rabbit hole. K (whose name has been withheld to protect the gullible) tells me it feels really nice and soft. K, just tell me one thing – you will never, ever buy the Outer Body Experience cleanser.

Ingredients in Miracle ll Moisturizing Soap

Energized stabilized oxygenated water, Dehydrabiethylanmine (substitute name for proprietary ingredient), Ash of Dedecly solution, Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Foaming Agent (Coconut extracted). Plus Oils of Avocado, Almond, Olive, Coconut, Vitamin E

Ingredients in Simply Divine Botanicals Outer Body

Unconditional Love and Gratitude, Organic Whole-Leaf Aloe Vera, Eloptic, Energized and Oxygenated Water, MSM, Ash of Dedecyl Dehydrabiethyamine (coconut derived), Calcium, Potassium, Magnesium, Oils of Avocado, Almond, Olive, Coconut, Vitamin E and Essentail Oils.

A night mask called Skincerity has been getting some publicity recently. It costs $89.95 and you just roll it over your face for “a perfect solution for sun damaged skin, acne, common rashes, itching, and many insect bites. Developed from National Institutes of Health grant funding, Skincerity is not a cover-up or cosmetic. It is a genuine health care product. You don’t feel or smell it – you experience it!” And what is the secret sauce? Acetone. Yes the (smelly) stuff in nailpolish remover.

This is one of the oddest beauty products I have seen in a long while. According to the ingredients for Skincerity listed on essentialdayspa.com, the dominant ingredient is acetone. There’s also a component of non-stick pans. What mad scientist is behind this formula? But before we panic on behalf of the gullible who buy this and roll it on at bedtime (I hope they aren’t nocturnal smokers; isn’t acetone flammable?) perhaps we should look into Skincerity a little more deeply.

After all, someone selling Skincerity posted on a comment on essentialdayspa.com to point out that only “medical grade acetone” is used. I have no doubt they were utterly skincere, but try doing an online search for “medical grade acetone”, you won’t find much. Acetone is a common solvent and component of nail polish remover. Its one of the most powerful solvents you can buy without a license. So what’s it doing in a face mask?

Truthfully, I have no idea. What I do know is that acetone is a chemical that is found naturally in the environment and is also produced by industries. Low levels of acetone are normally present in the body from the breakdown of fat. Having said that, in a lab experiment, people who had liquid acetone applied directly on their skin and held there for a half hour developed skin irritation. When the skin was looked at under a microscope, some of the skin cells were damaged (source).

Next up is flouropolymer. This is not a friend of acetone. According to Wikipedia, flouropolymer shows a strong resistance to solvents (thankfully, acetone is probably strong enough to get the better of it). Flouropolymers are friction resistant and are a component of Teflon. They also provide a fabulous shield against corrosion. Now that’s what I call antiaging. You might be interested to know that the active ingredient in Living Proof No Frizz is a modified flouropolymer.

Eventually, I worked out flouropolymers turn up as polytetrafluoroethylene in things like face powders and eyeshadows for a “luxurious, dry, silky feel”. I expect that’s what why they are in Skincerity.

Now what of acrylic polymer. Trying to find out how it would be applied to skincare, I found a patent to use acrylic copolymers to form a thin, protective layer over the skin. The target consumers include “housewives” and “dishwashers in restaurants”.

This is normally used to suspend pigment in acrylic paint and, of course, acrylic nail polish. Much like enamels, the acrylic nail polish has tiny particles of acrylic resin. The difference is that they are suspended in water. The water part of the polish is partially evaporated and partially absorbed into the fingernail. The resin left behind fuses together and creates a strong polish.

Skincerity is a veritable yin and yang with both nail polish and remover things. Perhaps our mad scientist is a frustrated manicurist.

Acetone, Flouropolymer, Acrylic polymer, Tocopherol Acetate (Vitamin E), Vitis Vinifera (Grape) Seed Oil, Fragrance.

Have you ever wondered what you would look like post-plastic surgery? Do you think about the shape of your nose or the fullness of your lips constantly? Do you own an iPhone or iPod Touch? If the answer to these questions is – YES! – then you might be in luck, because Board-certified, Miami-based plastic surgeon Dr. Michael Salzhauer, has just released his much-anticipated app, iSurgeon. According to Dr. Salzhauer’s people, iSurgeon is “the most advanced beauty makeover app available in the iTunes App store,” combining personal image modification with high-tech gaming functionality. Beauty and gaming together at long last? Say it ain’t so.

Depending on whether you download the lite or pro version, iSurgeon has different levels of interactivity. (1) Game Mode gives you the opportunity to virtually don the plastic surgeon’s white coat and simulate one of four procedures to meet your avatar’s desires: Rhinoplasty, breast augmentation, tummy tuck, or Brazilian butt lift. (2) Advanced Surgery Mode allows you to take pictures of yourself, friends, enemies, or strangers and see what they would look like after a creative session on the operating table. The app even permits you to conveniently share your results via email or Facebook. So now, instead of telling your boyfriend about the boobs you have always wanted, you can show him. Talk about instant gratification – for the both of you.

Confused about how iSurgeon works? Check out the Dr. Salzhauer-led tutorial on YouTube in which he walks you through the game’s features with the assistance of a volunteer. He shows you how to take a picture – by pointing his camera phone at a young lady – and then he demonstrates the power of the app by manipulating the photo on the screen while explaining, “you can either make her look prettier – by making her nose look smaller, let’s say…” (At this point the young woman’s facial expression goes from emotionless to “Hey, wait a minute, what did he just say?” as she laughs in disbelief). The video barely scrapes the surface of what sort of damage iSurgeon is capable of wreaking on an innocent photo in profile or – perhaps even more frighteningly – a full body shot.

Let’s be honest – This app is bound to be put towards more sinister purposes than getting a preview of potential plastic surgery results. Anything goes, whether you want to test out a receding hairline or a triple chin. Because the touchscreen technology doesn’t offer much in terms of precision, more often than not the image deteriorates into a blurry blob. Think Photoshop meets a funhouse hall of mirrors…on acid. And the jarring sound effects that blare in the background don’t make the experience any more enjoyable. It’s hard to imagine anyone taking the experimental surgery seriously, especially when the game doles out an arbitrary score based on the time spent “operating” and provides a cheeky assessment such as: “Not bad for a sushi-chef, but not ready for human beings.”

Having never entertained notions of myself giving or getting cosmetic surgery, I have to admit I was curious, and so I tried out iSurgeon both in Game Mode and Advanced Surgery Mode with a personal photo. I ended up disturbed at how deformed I could look with a few finger strokes and frustrated at how impossible it was to correct my mistakes. iSurgeon seems like the next generation of the battery-powered board game Operation, except instead of losing the game when you hit an edge with the tweezers, you lose your dignity.

I think iSurgeon is one of the many examples of a bad concept brought to life by technology. If you are actually considering plastic surgery – an expensive and potentially life-threatening endeavor – wouldn’t it be best to discuss the possibilities and realities of such a procedure in person with a medical professional? Allowing potential plastic surgery clients to mess around with their virtual appearances seems a tad like playing with fire. Are we really close to a day when tech-savvy individuals go to their doctor wielding a handheld device with a completely revamped version of their face, and request the same results in real life?

But in reality, iSurgeon is not going to attract players legitimately interested in going under the knife. With its sassy tone and social media sharing features, the app clearly targets young people, who are already self-conscious enough without finding pictures of themselves with a nose job floating around the internet. iSurgeon encourages a blatant form of facial and bodily butchery. So now the next time you see an iPod pointed in your direction, you have an alarming reason to turn away.

My BS antenna started to quiver the other day when I saw in ad for Elizabeth Arden’s new, souped up Prevage Face Advanced Anti-Aging Serum ($155). The Prevage range is big on an antioxidant called idebenone and the new Prevage is no different, except that it now it has an “advanced idebenone technology”. Whatever that means. But what piqued my curiosity was the claim that it is “the most powerful antioxidant available today with an EPF rating of 95″. Now what might an EPF rating be?

The small print on the ad says that EPF, or Environmental Protection Factor, is the trademark of Pharma Cosmetix Research. I haven’t been able to find a website for Pharma Cosmetix Research, but from what I have been able to glean it is based in Virginia, was established in 1999 and has five employees. One of them, Joe Lewis, is the President and CEO and also runs a company called Priori, The Anti-Aging Solution along with a guy called Joseph DiNardo, who used to work for Allergan. Incidentally, (I’m sure not coincidentally) Prevage is a joint venture between Allergan (the makers of Botox and Latisse) and Elizabeth Arden. Priori supplies alpha hydroxy acid (AHA), idebenone and coffeeberry to cosmetics brands including Prevage, MD Formulations and MD Forte.

Nowhere have I found how the Environmental Protection Factor is calculated. However, DiNardo did write a paper in 2005 saying mineral oil doesn’t give you zits. Personally, I am willing to consign EPF to the Dept of Daft.

Prevage’s claims to be “the most powerful antioxidant available today” turns out to be based on comparisons with AHA, kinetin, vitamin C, vitamin E and coenzyme Q10. I could be wrong, but I don’t believe AHAs are, strictly speaking, antioxidant. Furthermore, studies published in the March 2006 issue of the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology found idebenone less effective than Vitamins E and C with ferulic on sun-exposed skin. Another study published in the same journal two years later found that red grape antioxidant was also more effective than Idebenone on sun-exposed skin. (Source).

Having said that it is still a good antoxidant. Just not the best in the world.

Rid yourself of wrinkles with the wave of a wand? It must be magic. Actually, the FREO Cool Wand Therapy Skin Care System can be yours for only $79.95. Check it out on the Home Shopping Network. It is sold by a doctor so it must be authentic. Right?

Dr Jeanette Graf, MD (apparently famous for inventing Vita-Peptide) peddles a range of skincare products on HSN, but the wand is by far my favorite. Now, I take it that amongst us adults it would be superfluous of me to point out what the wand looks like.

The idea is that you slather the good doctor’s antiaging cream over your face during which time the wand has reached a temperature of 38 degrees. Rubbing the cold wand over your face is supposed to help the cream’s ingredients penetrate (including, presumably, all those lovely parabens). According to Dr Graf, there is a wealth of data on the anti-aging and healing effects of cold and my husband insists that  Paul Newman’s sole concession to grooming was to plunge his face into cold water every morning.

Putting the skin into contact with cold will, in fact, achieve very little other than a brief and superficial tightening of the skin. If you don’t believe me buy a re-usable ice pack and save yourself about seventy bucks.

Ingredients:

Water**, Cyclopentasiloxane, Dimethicone Copolymer, Glycerin**, Carthamus Tinctorius (Safflower) Seed Oil, Butylene Glycol*, Carbomer*, Polysorbate 20*, Palmitoyl Oligopeptide***, Palmitoyl Tetrapeptide-7***, Cetyl Alcohol, Steareth-20**, Hydroxysuccinimide**, Chrysin**, Stearic Acid, Polyacrylate-13, Polyisobutene, Phenoxyethanol, Methylparaben, Ethylparaben, Butylparaben, Propylparaben, Mica, Silica, PEG-8 Beeswax, Allantoin, Calendula Officinalis Flower Extract, Chamomilla Recutita (Matricaria) Flower Extract, Gynostemma Pentaphyllum Leaf Extract, Tetrasodium ETTA, Triethanolamine, D & C Red 33

*Ingredients specific to Matrixyl 3000, **Ingredients specific to Haloxyl, ***Ingredients common to Matrixyl 3000 and Haloxyl

Serious Skincare’s Firmaface ($49.95) advises an unusual procedure: apply all over the face in an even coat “like a mask”, remain expressionless for three minutes until it “sets” then splash with water. The result: instant tightening. The secret ingredient: cement.

Actually, it is sodium silicate, an ingredient in the manufacture of cements, passive fire protection, refractories, textile and lumber processing, and automobiles. According to an article in the Wall Street Journal, it is “the designated agent of death for cars surrendered under the federal cash-for-clunkers program,” because of its ability to permanently disable car engines.

This isn’t joke, this is Serious Skincare. Actually, they aren’t the only ones. If you have a nagging sense of deja vu, that is because sodium silicate is also in Athena 7-Minute Lift, one of the most unpleasant creams I have ever used (it is painted on with a brush and when it sets the sensation is rather like the numb/tingly feeling you get when the dentist’s injection starts to wear off).

Sodium Silicate to be a moderate hazard ingredient, and is classified as expected to be toxic or harmful, as a human irritant and as a human toxicant. Nice.

You’ll be relieved to know that should you be tempted to get all animated and crack your cement mask, Firmaface has back up in the form of 3-aminopropane sulfonic acid. This is an analogue for GABA, the ingredient that is cropping up in face creams as a neurotransmitter that is supposed to inhibit muscle movement.

Ingredients:

Water, Sodium Silicate, Magnesium Aluminum Silicate, Pentylene Glycol, Calcium Hydroxymethionine, 3-Aminopropane Sulfonic Acid, Aminobutyric Acid, Glycerin, Lecithin, Sorbitol, Retinyl Palmitate, Retinol, Butylene Glycol, Lycium Barbarum Fruit Extract, Macrocystis Pyrifera Extract, Centella Asiatica Extract, Caffeine, Polysorbate 20, Hydroxyethylcellulose, Xanthan Gum, Caramel, Disodium EDTA, Propylene Glycol, Diazolidinyl Urea, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Yellow 5, Yellow 6.

I have been sent unsolicited samples of Alchimie Forever Kantic Lights Off ($71). I have to say that this night cream is so blah, that I wouldn’t give it blog space except that it came with a with a note from the president and CEO, Ada Polla, that I found to be decidedly amusing.

Ms Polla, a winsome young woman who looks barely 20, is the daughter of Dr Barbara Polla, a biochemical researcher who specializes in antioxidants, and Dr Luigi Polla, a “European leader in the field of laser therapy”. Just over a decade ago, the Pollas (who are Swiss, by the way) opened the Forever Laser Institute in Geneva. While finding time to indulge their passion for contemporary art, the Pollas then launched a skincare line called Forever Choice.

Recently Swiss Family Polla decided to rename the line Alchimie Forever (which I personally don’t find a huge improvement) and put young Ada at the helm. So devoted to the core family business is she that she named all the products after lasers. And so we have Yttrium (yes, that is the right spelling) which is used to make phosphors in lasers. Excimer is a laser used primarily for eye surgery. There is Diode 2 and so on. Why would anyone think this would be a good idea?

Given that Ada’s mother is antioxidant specialist, its a little disappointing to find that Alchimie Forever Kantic Lights Off has not much more than vitamin E, olive oil and bilberry. Also its a pity they isn’t a toxicologist in the family. Her or she might have guided the formulator away from irritants and carcinogens such as propylene glycol, every paraben known to man, phenoxyethanol and diazolidinyl urea.

Ingredients

Water/Aqua, Cetearyl Ethylhexanoate, Propylene Glycol, Simmondsia Chinensis (Jojoba) Seed Oil, C14-22 Alkylalcohol, C12-20 Alkyl Glucoside, Tocopheryl Acetate, Myristyl Lactate, Polyacrylamide, Vaccinium Myrtillus (Bilberry) Leaf Extract, Vitis Vinifera (Grape) Seed Extract, C13-14 Isoparaffin, Laureth-7, PEG-10 Olive Glycerides, Sorbitol, Diazolidinyl Urea, Methylparaben, Propylparaben, Phenoxyethanol, Butylparaben, Ethylparaben, Butylparaben, Isobutylparaben, Fragrance/Parfum, Hexyl Cinnamal, Alpha Isomethyl Ionone, Amyl Cinnamal, Linalool, Butylphenyl Methylpropional, Citronellol, Limonene, Hydroxycitronellal.

The news that Billy Mays had cocaine in his system at the time of his rather untimely death might explain his signature manic delivery. (And all that time, you thought it was the cleaning fumes!) When looking back at all the infomercials that made him a household name, Mays never got to grace the realm of grooming…which is unfortunate, since what a superb shaving specimen he would have made! His affinity for playing Mr. Fix-it never translated to the crowded beauty category in TV land.

As a rule of thumb, flashy commercials for cosmetics tend to come from multi-brand conglomerates with hefty advertising budgets and mass-market products. But the long-format cosmetic infomercial is a separate breed. It tugs on your heart strings with depictions of real people turning their lives around or amazes you with staggering beauty feats. Though sometimes staged by these same companies (Guthy-Renker being a regular), infomercials and direct response TV ads tend to be associated with oddball novelties, longstanding fixtures, and celebrity-endorsed newcomers.

If you’ve ever found yourself reaching for the phone after being brainwashed by a five-minute plug for the latest life-altering beauty product, you might want to put down your credit card and first get TIA’s take. We have rounded up some of the most popular “As Seen on TV” cosmetics and have gotten to the bottom of their puffed up promises. Click on any of the product images below for a detailed view and condensed review.

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Ped Egg- Reviewed and Recommended

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Cleansing with castor oil seems to garnering cult status, with websites devoted to it and message boards clogged with comments and questions. For the uninitiated, the idea is to mix one part castor oil with two parts olive, sunflower or other oil, spend an inordinate amount of time massaging into your face and then wipe off with a facecloth soaked in hot water. My rosacea is breaking out at the very idea and, anyway, I’ve always thought castor oil was a laxative. It suddenly struck me that castor oil cleansing is something Gywneth Paltrow might do. Wickedly, I searched on “castor oil cleanse gwyneth paltrow” and found that she swigs half a cup of the stuff to detox! Close enough, I say. qgvi6h5kfb

So, is there anything to castor oil face cleansing? Not surprisingly, the information about castor oil is mostly vague – “it’s a great natural healer that has been used for centuries” – and contradictory “it’s a wonderful emollient and moisturizer” and “it is very drying of the skin”. Getting to the root of this oil’s properties wasn’t going to be easy.

Castor oil is indeed a laxative and has historically been used to induce labor. However, it is also used in the making of soap, so perhaps there is some magical cleansing property to castor oil. It turns out that castor oil is mostly – and I mean 95% – ricinoleic acid. This is a fatty acid that has a couple of notable qualities. The aforementioned purgative effects are due to “membrane-disruptive effects of detergent-like molecules, such as sodium ricinoleate (a ’soap‘)”. Ricinoleic acid is basically a powerful antibacterial. Perhaps that’s why it makes a good contraceptive gel.

Unless you have a Howard Hughes-like aversion to germs, rubbing your face with castor oil just seems like overkill.

If you still want to embark on castor oil cleansing routine, bear in mind that castor oil helps other ingredients to penetrate the skin (so be careful what you use it with or follow up with). Perhaps you should also spare a thought for the people who harvest the castor oil plant in the first place. The seeds contain ricin, which is only slightly less toxic than plutonium – a single molecule can disrupt a human cell. In addition, the allergenic compounds found on the plant surface can cause permanent nerve damage. Worry not that ricin makes into the oil; it does not. However, the workers in Brazil and India are continually exposed to this hazard.

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Other whacky, I mean fun, things to do with oil